Chili’s and Clove Cigarettes

Living in the sticks like I currently do, the opportunity for fine dining is sadly minuscule.

So tonight, I ate at Chili’s with my brother. I typically won’t touch Chili’s with a ten foot pole and I was reminded why tonight! We were celebrating, as today is sort of a mini-Independence Day for me, and apparently, Chili’s has two for one alcohol all day…everyday! The things I have missed out on by being a responsible non-drinker these last few years…

Chili’s was overpriced as usual and served up worse than sub par food, but that is is to be expected. I ordered the Skillet Queso and crossed my fingers that the chips wouldn’t be stale. Chili’s across the nation seem to insist that stale chips are the cornerstone of a good appetizer. I was unlucky. The chips were so stale that they would only bend and completely resisted breaking. The texture reminded me of a dog’s chew toy. I had to tear them with my teeth. *shudder* The queso was okay, just the same bland bar food it always has been and always will be.

I ordered the Chicken Crispers Honey Chipotle style as my entree. My brother enjoyed his fajitas and I enjoyed my fries, but I stopped when I took a bite of the Crispers. There was something so odd about the flavor. My brother and I took turns trying to figure out what weird thing the Crispers reminded us of, until he finally got it.

I impatiently said, “I just can’t figure it out! They taste so weird and familiar…not like food….but something…um..”

He took another bite and paused for a long moment, then snapped his fingers and leaned back in his chair with a sigh of contentment.

“Clove cigarettes.”

I didn’t eat anymore after that.


4 Responses to “Chili’s and Clove Cigarettes”

  1. 1 gugulovesme
    November 8, 2008 at 9:44 am

    My favorite chili recipe is called “Texas Bowl of Red” and has no tomatoes at all in it. Appetizer

  2. November 16, 2008 at 1:43 am

    As a fellow foodie, I’d have to say that I’m fundamentally opposed to Chili’s. Although their catchy “I want my baby-back, baby-back, baby-back ribs…” jingle is ever present in the minds of the populace, this restaurant has only one redeeming quality… the Southwestern Eggrolls.

    Unfortunately for Chili’s… I suspect that these deep-fried “bar-food-esque” morsels of decadence are quite likely premade… and show up in cases of 100 or more… manufactured by an ingenious “Eggroll Machine” built by top scientists in Kulalampour… which now resides in some factory in an industrial wasteland like south Detroit. The Southwestern Eggrolls are made with a Smoked chicken, black beans, corn, jalapeño Jack cheese, red peppers and spinach wrapped inside a crispy flour tortilla. To compliment them Chili’s serves them with a semi-decent avocado-ranch dipping sauce.

    I’ve been unable to verify whether or not these Southwestern Eggrolls contain any MSG… however, enjoying an order of these will set you back about 8 bucks (without tip)… and the REAL benefit is that the 1000 calories, 70 grams of fat, and 62 carbs will keep on giving for months to come!

    I suppose I’d also have to say that I’m fundamentally opposed to any restaurant that serves food which tastes like clove cigarettes… yuk. Though I have to admit… that I’ve enjoyed a clove cigarette or 3 in my day… I’d have to say it was a poor choice to make their food taste like them!

    Better luck next meal Jen!


  3. 3 Honestly Tho
    January 2, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    I just went to chili’s yesterday. We had the OVERPRICED southwestern eggrolls which are good but WHY SO EFFING EXPENSIVE? The damned eggrolls cost as much as a freakin meal! And they’re good but for $9.00 plus tax (you get 3 small regular eggrolls cut in half), not that good! They’re actually worth like $3.99 plus tax. Honestly.

  4. January 2, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    Lol – Honestly, you’re right on!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: